What actually helps a baby grow.

The short version

Twelve things that work

• Notice what the baby does, and answer it When she looks, coos, reaches or cries, respond within a few seconds with your face, voice or touch. That loop is the core skill, and most of the rest of this site turns out to be some version of it.
• Talk with the baby, and leave room for her to answer Back-and-forth exchanges, even before words, are what build language. Live faces count; recordings, as far as anyone can tell, do not.
• Read aloud from the start, and let her interrupt A few minutes a day with a book, asking rather than reciting, has trial evidence behind it.
• Hold her skin to skin, early and often Bare chest to bare chest, especially in the first hours and for small babies. One of the strongest findings in the field.
• On her back, on a flat empty surface, in your room Back to sleep, her own firm flat surface, nothing soft, and the same room as the parents for at least six months.
• Breastfeed if you can, and do not lose sleep over the IQ claims Clear health benefits. The cognitive benefit is small, and it had faded by adolescence in the one big trial. Formula-fed babies are not behind.
• Vitamin D, iron from six months, allergens early Three specific and admittedly boring actions with strong evidence behind them, and easy to miss in the fog.
• Tummy time, in short bursts, while she is awake and watched Modest but consistent evidence for motor development and fewer flat spots. Aim for about 30 minutes a day, spread out.
• Treating a parent’s depression is also a child intervention Postpartum depression in either parent is linked to poorer outcomes for the baby. Screening and treatment work.
• Keep the visits, the hearing test and the milestone checks This is where timing genuinely matters. Hearing loss and autism found early have very different trajectories from those found late.
• Do not hit. Warm and firm carries the day; harsh does not Spanking is associated with worse outcomes on 13 of 17 measures and better outcomes on none. Limits without pain work better.
• Keep smoke, alcohol and lead away from her Three exposures with large, well-documented effects on the developing brain and body. Removing harm does more than adding enrichment.

Five domains of nurturing care

• Good health Skin-to-skin, the well-child schedule, hearing and milestone checks, vaccines on time.
• Adequate nutrition Breastfeeding where possible, vitamin D, iron from six months, allergens early.
• Safety and security Safe sleep, and keeping smoke, alcohol and lead away from her.
• Responsive caregiving Notice and answer her cues. Treat a parent’s depression. Do not hit.
• Early learning Talk with her, read to her, and let live people rather than screens do the teaching.

Oversold

• Screens mostly matter because of what they replace
• Sleep training is contested in public and fairly settled in the trials
• The famous preschool wins were for very disadvantaged children
• Two languages are worth having. The brain-upgrade claim has not held up
• Sing to her, and skip the music class if the goal is IQ
• Baby massage is lovely and, for healthy babies, unproven
• Baby sign does not speed talking. It may make you more attentive
• Flat spots mostly round out on their own. Helmets did not beat waiting

Avoid

• “Educational” baby videos and infant reading programmes
• Amber teething necklaces and benzocaine teething gels
• Baby walkers
• Inclined sleepers, crib bumpers, weighted sleep sacks, positioners

Three caveats

• Children are sturdier than we fear. In a home that is not neglectful, most enrichment beyond “good enough” has a small effect.
• The strongest trials come from high-risk populations. Kangaroo care, nurse home visiting, Abecedarian and the Bucharest project all studied babies at the low end - very small, very poor, or institutionalised - and their effects are large because the baseline was low.
• “The first 1000 days” is real, but it is not a cliff. Timing matters a great deal for a few things (hearing and vision, and the absence of severe deprivation).